Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Long Run Convos

A lot of people ask, "Gosh Phoebe, what do you think and talk about during your long runs?" 

Me personally, I don't talk. Not because I don't want to, but because I can't fit words in between my gasps for air. But I do eavesdrop on the other girls' convos. Here's my 007 detective work: 

It usually starts off boring, as most conversations usually do. 

Last weeks mile repeats rocked my calves.

I feel really tired today. Let's starts slow—which, by the way, is totally code for "prepare for me to drill you for the next 10 miles." I know you, distance runners. 

Did you see what Chanelle Price ran this weekend? That was crazy fast. She is the Champion of the World! Working 2 jobs! 

The weather is weather today.

I cannot wait for those chocolate chip pancakes with an omelet and hash browns with a side of chicken biscuits. And waffles.

Since we all are way to involved in each other bowels, I'd like to say I had an extra cup of coffee and will need to poop here in a mile or 2. Coffee and long runs are nature’s laxatives!
Side note: without these breaks, I personally would not be able to keep up.

Then the interesting stuff starts to creep in. 

Oh my gosh... Last night was cray cray. Totally rocked in karaoke and then some guy with a lip ring that sang ACDC asked to do a duet. 

Segway into pop culture:

Which runner would you want to see on Between Two Ferns? Definitely Will Leer with Craig Miller!

No! But I did hear about that 22lb cat that held his family hostage. The police had to subdue the cat!

Who do you think is the hottest profesh runner? I totally don't have a crush on Nick Symmonds because everyone and their mom has a crush on Nick. Matt Elliot's accent and school kids make his face as good looking as Clark Kent’s.

Then the really interesting hypothetical questions. Fun fact! Distance runners get more intelligent and creative and less tired as they run. 

Which Disney princess would you want to be? Not Ariel! She doesn't have legs for the first half of her life! Totally Jasmin because her kitty Rasha reminds me of my cat Pico.

Would you be Mr. Clean bald for the rest of your life for 1 million dollars? No way! I'm much more vain than materialistic!

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! Who would be the first to die? Totally Casmir Loxim! He’d be all, “I have to save my friend-that-is-a-girl” and would get distracted by fine wine and coffee, then BAM! ZombieCas.

Then the completely blow-your-mind-unanswerable-questions. At this point all my brain power has been allocated to breathing.

Would you rather be able to time travel or teleport? 

What does it really mean if he texts you "cool." With the period. 

You know how drunk vision makes other people look better? How come when I drink and check myself out in the mirror, I look worse? Why doesn't drunk vision work on myself?

If you lost your legs tomorrow, what would you do? 

And there you have it. 70 minutes painfully and entertainingly gone by. Don't tell them I told you. 


  1. "I cannot wait for those chocolate chip pancakes with an omelet and hash browns with a side of chicken biscuits. And waffles."

    This ranks alongside "I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade... And try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party." (Ron White)