Thursday, March 20, 2014

Baby vs. Geriatric Profesh Runners

There are a couple of things to remember when you pursue a career in track and field:
1.     It is short lived.
2.     If you think you are invincible, you’re not. But take advantage while it lasts.

According to Letsrun, 25 is the Golden Age—where experience meets the young-buck strength. 26 is over-the-hill. Or if you happen to be lucky like Kara Goucher or Bernard Lagat, it is when your old-man strength kicks in.

As a 25 year old, this is my Golden Year. But I can see the crest of the hill (where my old-man strength should kick in). Let me tell you, there are huge differences between little baby profesh and geriatric profesh.


1. Mileage: QUICK. And they want to ramp it up. The more they hurt, the fitter they get?

2. Warm-ups and recovery pace are quick. The quicker “easy” is, the quicker “hard” will be?

3. Overly competitive in practice. They MUST win the interval.

4. Rehab exercises are for chumps.

5. Core only consists of crunches and planks.

6. Tune up meets are life and death.

7. Job: Run fast.

8. They feel invincible. Even tired they can rock a hard workout.

9. Watches competitor’s Workout Wednesday and says, “Easy. I can do that.”

10. Competitors are enemies.

11. Can’t see life beyond next race.

12. Doesn’t drink coffee.

13. Neurotic about food.

14. Counts the prize money before it’s won.

15. Acupuncture?

16. Gets dolled up before every race.

17. Flight delay!? How am I ever going to race well?!

18. No time for cards.


1. Mileage: Consistent. Fast when they feel like going fast, slow when they feel like going slow.

2. Warm-ups and recovery paces are kept easy.

3. Practice has an intention, and rarely are practices are go-to-the-well status.

4. They have an entire PT rehab routine done daily.

5. Core has expanded to include hips and glutes.

6. Tune up meets are treated as practice.

7. Job: Connect with people and runners

8. Run with caution. They are not able to rock a workout tired. They back off instead.

9. Watches competitor’s Workout Wednesday and says, “Oh Look! Sarah Brown looks so good! I’m happy for her.”

10. Competitors are lifelong friends.

11. Can see (and has) life outside of running.

12. Trips to Europe have created yet another coffee snob.

13. Relaxed about food and effortlessly maintains a balanced diet. A nightly glass of wine is good for the heart.

14. Prize money is icing on the cake.

15. Acupuncture works.  

16. This ain't no pageant show! They look how they want.

17. Flight delay? Cool. 

18. Knows every card game in the book. Plus Catan.

Every year you sacrifice a piece of your durability for a large chunk of experience. Excellent trade-off. At least until you are 26 anyway ; )

Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Long Run Convos

A lot of people ask, "Gosh Phoebe, what do you think and talk about during your long runs?" 

Me personally, I don't talk. Not because I don't want to, but because I can't fit words in between my gasps for air. But I do eavesdrop on the other girls' convos. Here's my 007 detective work: 

It usually starts off boring, as most conversations usually do. 

Last weeks mile repeats rocked my calves.

I feel really tired today. Let's starts slow—which, by the way, is totally code for "prepare for me to drill you for the next 10 miles." I know you, distance runners. 

Did you see what Chanelle Price ran this weekend? That was crazy fast. She is the Champion of the World! Working 2 jobs! 

The weather is weather today.

I cannot wait for those chocolate chip pancakes with an omelet and hash browns with a side of chicken biscuits. And waffles.

Since we all are way to involved in each other bowels, I'd like to say I had an extra cup of coffee and will need to poop here in a mile or 2. Coffee and long runs are nature’s laxatives!
Side note: without these breaks, I personally would not be able to keep up.

Then the interesting stuff starts to creep in. 

Oh my gosh... Last night was cray cray. Totally rocked in karaoke and then some guy with a lip ring that sang ACDC asked to do a duet. 

Segway into pop culture:

Which runner would you want to see on Between Two Ferns? Definitely Will Leer with Craig Miller!

No! But I did hear about that 22lb cat that held his family hostage. The police had to subdue the cat!

Who do you think is the hottest profesh runner? I totally don't have a crush on Nick Symmonds because everyone and their mom has a crush on Nick. Matt Elliot's accent and school kids make his face as good looking as Clark Kent’s.

Then the really interesting hypothetical questions. Fun fact! Distance runners get more intelligent and creative and less tired as they run. 

Which Disney princess would you want to be? Not Ariel! She doesn't have legs for the first half of her life! Totally Jasmin because her kitty Rasha reminds me of my cat Pico.

Would you be Mr. Clean bald for the rest of your life for 1 million dollars? No way! I'm much more vain than materialistic!

ZOMBIE APOCALYPSE! Who would be the first to die? Totally Casmir Loxim! He’d be all, “I have to save my friend-that-is-a-girl” and would get distracted by fine wine and coffee, then BAM! ZombieCas.

Then the completely blow-your-mind-unanswerable-questions. At this point all my brain power has been allocated to breathing.

Would you rather be able to time travel or teleport? 

What does it really mean if he texts you "cool." With the period. 

You know how drunk vision makes other people look better? How come when I drink and check myself out in the mirror, I look worse? Why doesn't drunk vision work on myself?

If you lost your legs tomorrow, what would you do? 

And there you have it. 70 minutes painfully and entertainingly gone by. Don't tell them I told you.